get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
