I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
