You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
