she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize