Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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