i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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