I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
