She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
