Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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