Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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