He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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