Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
