Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
bring money and cleavage
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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