Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
