Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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