would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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