Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
