dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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