she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
