you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
