dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
