did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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