So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
