my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize