If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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