she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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