I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize