We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
