no, he came in my armpit
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
