Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need to sanitize my soul.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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