I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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