She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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