What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
