i just had sex bonerless
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
