God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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