so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
