I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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