I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
