That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
