I just cut my nipple shaving
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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