I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
