ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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