a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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