She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
