can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
