You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
