Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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