Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
