I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
