all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
