final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
