your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
cat food counts as protein by the way
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
