my phone needs a breathalizer
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
