This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
