weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
