We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
