Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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