Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
