i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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