I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
