Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
