South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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