Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
