I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
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