i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
