Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
