My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
