i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
