They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
