they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so explain again why im purple
no
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
