We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
