oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
