Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
