just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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