Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
