i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
