Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Terrible idea I love it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
