You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
